My name is Bili Takwi Anagbogu, originally from Cameroon, and I am the eldest of seven children. In our culture, the first child often takes on a significant role, providing emotional and financial support to the family. I always dreamed of having a large family of my own. Today, I want to share my journey with you, not only to offer encouragement but to illustrate how surrogacy helped me achieve my dream, with my husband being my unwavering support throughout the process.

My journey began in 2006 when I discovered I was pregnant. I was overjoyed, as was my husband, who stood by me every step of the way. Prior to my pregnancy, my OBGYN had diagnosed me with uterine fibroids. He reassured me that fibroids are common among women of African descent and usually don’t pose significant health threats unless they cause complications. Initially, my fibroids were asymptomatic, so I didn’t worry much.

During my first pregnancy, I experienced frequent emergency hospital visits due to the fibroids. At 24 weeks, I had severe cramps and went to the emergency room in Baltimore, MD. They gave me medication and sent me home. A few weeks later, I noticed spotting and fluid leakage, prompting another hospital visit. There, I was rushed in for an emergency C-section. My baby boy was born at 24 weeks, weighing only 1.5 pounds. Tragically, he was too premature to survive and passed away shortly after birth. It was a heartbreaking experience, especially as a first-time mother. My husband was my rock during this devastating time, providing comfort and strength when I needed it most.

In 2010, I became pregnant again with another boy. At 20 weeks, an anomaly scan indicated a high probability of Down syndrome. Further tests confirmed a 90% chance of chromosomal issues. Despite my OBGYN’s recommendation to terminate the pregnancy, my husband and I couldn’t bring ourselves to do it, having already lost a child. We delivered our son on March 27th, and he was diagnosed with Down syndrome.

His condition drastically changed our lives. Born with Down syndrome, he had hypoglycemia and heart defects common with the condition. We spent six months at a specialist hospital in Delaware and the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. At two months old, he underwent open-heart surgery. This period was incredibly challenging, both emotionally and financially. I had to abandon my job to stay by his side, fearing any adverse news if I left him alone. By five months, he required a G-button due to feeding difficulties. My husband was a pillar of strength, helping manage our son’s care and supporting me through these trying times. We continued to face numerous challenges, but as our son grew, he became stronger.

In 2016, I conceived again but miscarried at 12 weeks. It felt like a cruel cycle of losing my babies without explanation. During the pregnancy, an ultrasound revealed no heartbeat, leading to a D&C procedure. Six months later, I was pregnant again, but the baby was positioned low in my cervix, and I was advised to terminate. I refused, holding on to hope, with my husband standing firmly by my side. However, at 20 weeks, another anomaly scan showed the baby had no kidneys. I was devastated. The doctors explained that even if I carried to term, the baby would not survive long after birth. Due to complications from fibroids and placenta previa, I underwent surgery, during which my womb was also removed.

Right after the surgery, the doctor informed me that although my womb was removed, my ovaries were intact, meaning I could still have children through surrogacy. This marked the beginning of my surrogacy journey, and my husband and I faced this new path together with hope and determination.